The Great War began
Upon the first pie thrown
Between the Rhubarb Empire
And the Kingdom Scone.
While the pies did sail
And men fell - creamed,
Rose a family united
And a house redeemed

This is a tale
of a Princess and a Duke
and a Mother-in-law...
Who's related to the Princess
Who at the end of the story
Becomes related to the Duke
It's kind of complicated...
It happened once upon a time...

Duke, Duke
His name is Duke.
A snappy dresser
and an upright Cuke!
Most folks say
he is a handsome man,
With the rough dimensions
of a rack of lamb!

Sweet, Sweet
Petunia Sweet.
Her eyes are sparkly
and her hair is neat.
She was named the princess
of her senior prom,
Now she lives as a peasant
with her aging mom.

Love, Love
True, true love
The kind most fairy tales
are made up of
But we've heard these stories
and if we're correct
True love's a little different
than you'd expect.

Oh Duke,
The people of Scone
Are turning against you
For showing kindness
Toward Petunia.

Love, Love
True, True Love!
The kind this fairytale
is made up of!
We reiterate our theme,
Now so well rehearsed;
True Love's the kind of love
That thinks of others first!

True Love's the kind of love
That thinks of others first!