Credit and many thanks go to zeetsean of BZPower for these lyrics! :)

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Larry: I asked my baby, my baby elf
A couple questions about myself
If I was handsome, if I was nice
I was looking for her advice
She looked at me and shook her head
And this is what she said:

Elf (really fast in Elvin): Do I know you?
What did you say?
Green one go away!
Be silent!
Green one!
Green one go away!
Go kiss a Spork!
Stop that!
Help!

Larry: She yelled so loud,
She hurt my ears
My eyes a-welled up
All full of tears
But I don't mind none,
Cause she's my elf
My elfity-babity-babity-babity-babity-babity-babity-babity-babity-babity-babity-babity... (etc.)

When I go walking, all by myself,
I'm busy thinking about my elf
I keep her picture up on my shelf
I'm always dreamin' about my elf
I won't forget the way that she
Says those words to me:

Elf: When do you leave?
Much wind pours from your mouth!
Do you feel well?
Are you finished?
Be silent!
Be silent!
Be silent!
I leave now to do laundry

Larry: Don't know exactly what she said
Just know it kinda hurts my head
I'll take an aspirin, cause she's my elf
My elfity-babity-boobity-babity-

Leg-o-lamb (not singing): Hold on a minute!

Larry (not singing): Wait. What? What are you doing?

Leg-o-lamb (pulls Larry's elf ears off): I knew it! I knew it!

Larry: What?

Leg-o-lamb: You should be ashamed of yourself! You're no elf! You're an Elfish Impersonator! You sicken me, deceitful one! (Leg-o-lamb takes Larry's guitar.)

Larry: Oh, right! Like you're a real elf! Give the gourd a bow and arrow and he's a real elf!