Narrator: One day, while talking with Dr. Archibald, Larry confronts one of his deepest fearsÖ.

 

Larry: If my lips ever left my mouth

Packed a bag and headed south

Thatíd be too bad, Iíd be so sad

 

Dr. Archibald: I see. Thatíd be too bad, youíd be so sad?

 

Larry: Thatíd be too bad.

 

Dr. Archibald: Alrighty.

 

Larry: If my lips said ďAdios,

I donít like you, I think youíre gross.Ē

Thatíd be too bad, I might get mad

 

Dr. Archibald: Hm. Thatíd be too bad, you might get mad?

 

Larry: Thatíd be too bad.

 

Dr. Archibald: Fascinating.

 

Larry: If my lips moved to Duluth

Left a mess and took my tooth

Thatíd be too bad, Iíd call my Dad

 

Dr. Archibald: Oh dear. Thatíd be too bad, youíd call your dad?

 

Larry: Thatíd be too bad.

 

Dr. Archibald: Hold it. Did you say your father? Fascinating! So what youíre saying is if your lips left you...?

 

Larry: Thatíd be too bad, Iíd be so sad

I might get mad, I call my Dad

Thatíd be too bad

 

Dr. Archibald: Thatíd be too bad?

 

Larry: Thatíd be too bad.

 

Dr. Archibald: Why?

 

Larry: Because I love my lips! (Makes noises in tune with his lips)

 

Dr. Archibald: Oh my! This is more serious than I thought. Larry, what do you see here?

 

Larry: Um, that looks like a lip.

 

Dr. Archibald: What about this?

 

Larry: Itís a lip.

 

Dr. Archibald: And this?

 

Larry: Itís a lip, itís a lip, itís a lip, lip, lip

Itís a lip, itís a lip, itís a lip, lip, lip

Itís a lip, itís a lip, itís a lip, lip, lip

liiiiiiiiiips lip lip lip

 

Dr. Archibald: Larry, tell me about your childhood.

 

Larry: When I was just two years old,

I left my lips out in the cold.

And they turned blue,

What could I do?

 

Dr. Archibald: Oh dear. They turned blue, what could you do?

 

Larry: Oh, They turned blue.

 

Dr. Archibald: I see.

 

Larry: On the day I got my tooth

I had to kiss my Great Aunt Ruth

She had a beard, and it felt weird

 

Dr. Archibald: My, my. She had a beard and it felt weird?

 

Larry: She had a beard.

 

Dr. Archibald: Oh!

 

Larry: Ten days after I turned eight

Got my lips stuck in a gate

My friends all laughedÖ

 

And I just stood there until the fire department came and broke the lock with a crowbar and I had to spend the next six weeks in lip rehab with this kid named Oscar who got stung by a bee right on the lip and we couldnít even talk to each other until the fifth week because both our lips were so swollen and when he did start speaking he just spoke Polish and I only knew like three words in Polish except now I know four because Oscar taught me the word for lip: ďUsta!"

 

Dr. Archibald: Your friends all laughed...usta. How do you spell that?

 

Larry: I donít know.

 

Dr. Archibald: So what youíre saying is, that when you were young?

 

Larry: They turned blue, what could I do?

She had a beard, and it felt weird.

My friends all laughed...usta!

 

Dr. Archibald: Iím confused.

 

Larry: I love my lips!

 

(Larry makes noises with his lips while Dr. Archibald tries to get his attention.)

 

Dr. Archibald:

Uh, Larry. Larry. Wait Larry, Larry! Thatís about enough, thank you.

 

(Voice over of Narrator)

 

Narrator:

This has been Silly Songs with Larry. Tune in next week to hear Larry say--

 

Larry: Have I ever told you how I feel about my nose?

 

Dr. Archibald: Oh, look at the time!

 

(Fades out with Larry continuing to make noises with his lips)