Junior, Laura, Percy, and Dad Asparagus: Now, Billy Joe McGruffey was a really clumsy kid.

On the first day of first grade, I'll tell you what he did

He tripped over a pencil box and flew up in the air

Landed on a kangaroo who pulled out all his hair

He needed first aid, in the first grade

First aid, in the first grade

First aid, in the first grade

You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid!

Oh, Billy Joe McGruffey was a really clumsy kid

On the second day of second grade, I'll tell you what he did

He slipped on a banana peel and flew up in the sky

Landed on a chimpanzee who poked him in the eye

He needed first aid, in the second grade.

First aid, in the second grade.

First aid, in the second grade.

You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid.

Now, Billy Joe McGruffey was a really clumsy kid

on the third day of third grade I'll tell you what he did

He fell out of a fishing boat, splashed into the sea

Landed on a moray eel who bit him on the knee

He needed first aid, in the third grade

First aid, in the third grade

First aid, in the third grade

You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid

Dad Asparagus: 12th grade!

All: Now, Billy Joe McGruffey was a really clumsy kid

On the twelfth day of twelfth grade I'll tell you what he did

Walked into financial aide and fell and broke a bone

showed them all his bills and got a great big college loan!

He needed first aid, in the twelfth grade.

First aid, in the twelfth grade.

First aid, in the twelfth grade.

You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid

You could buy a zoo with all the doctor bills he paid!